Hobbit Caves
2 days ago
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Brave New World
Life as a stay-at-home mom comes with it's own set of unexpected challenges. When I chose to stay home with Korban I thought it would be a busy life style focused on home maintenance, play groups schedules, and a rigorous child rearing. But in the last 18 months I have learned that a busy lifestyle does not come right away. Actually I find with one young child it is kind of boring. And since I had Korban I have steadily succumbed to a lazy schedule of long naps, hours of reading and watching tv, and the occasional cleaning of the house. With that comes days of depression and overeating. LOTS of overeating. When I am sad or bored I tend to open the pantry and munch. I am not as much a self-starter as I used to imagine. With school and work, staying busy was easy. Staying motivated to loose weight was easy. I have committed to stay with Korban and now have to commit to other ways to keep my self in check. First will be my diet. I was motivated by my dear sister-in-law, Tia, to get on the 11 day diet. Today is my first day. So far the extra meat has made me a little nauseous but that only means I eat less. I am determined to see it through to the end and return to a happy weight. As for the depression, I am determined to conquer it without drugs. I believe the root of the depression is in boredom. I am thinking of mommy and me swimming classes, more time outside when the weather improves, and possibly art classes. Any suggestions from experienced and successful moms would be appreciated, as well. The reason I post all of this is to give me more motivation. If you all know I am working on improving myself then I am less like to give up and return to my glutinous ways. Thanks for listening.
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Oh, Sonia, I totally have been there.
ReplyDeleteI call my sisters and ask them what they are doing and they have lists miles long and I am BORED. (I guess things really pick up when kids go to school.) Every winter I go through a bit of depression.
One thing that really helped me this winter was meeting at the church with a friend to exercise. The kids play (or we bring bikes or pushy toys) and we walk or run around the gym. I am a firm believer that exercise is one of the best things you can do for depression. But its hard to be motivated when you are depressed - I know!!! Find something that works - an exercise video, a gym membership, meeting with friends, or walking outside with a stroller.
I am also (still) hanging onto that last 10 pounds from having Jack (20 months ago...) What is the 11 day diet?
I had a really hard time after I had Hunter. We were living in a cold basement apartment with no light and no friends. It was tough. The best things for me to get out of a funk (especially when the kids are small) is sunlight, exercise and friends. Husbands are nice but women really understand that feeling more. When I go back to Utah (especially in the winter) I realized I think a lot of what plagues me is seasonal depression. When I see sun I'm so much happier and motivated, which then begets itself. In the end... I think you need to just move back to Phoenix and hang out with us in the sun! I miss you Sonia
ReplyDeleteHey Sonia. Sending thoughts your way. You are not alone. I suffer from depression and have since college. Drugs are the only thing that helps me. But if you're serious about conquering without them, try reading the book "When Your Body Gets the Blues". It is amazing. 3 simple steps to conquering depression naturally.
ReplyDeleteAs far as weight loss - good luck with that. It's hard. I still haven't been able to be motivated enough to do it. Of course it doesn't help that each time I get motivated I find out I'm pregnant.
PS - life does get busier as your little guy grows up. My life is CRAZY right now between keeping 2 kids entertained, shuffling playdates, doing church callings, etc. Good luck!
Sonia, I definitely relate. I'm not the self-starter that I'd like to be either. I would go crazy without all of the books I've been reading lately! I just started taking a writing class to work towards my teacher recertification (even though I don't need to for 5 more years.) I just felt like I needed a little more to do. Come over with Korban sometime--I'd love to play!
ReplyDeleteoh i TOTALLY understand, i HAVE to stay busy. i think colton thinks he has to go somewhere everyday or have friends over, or it isn't a good day. ha,ha. we have mommy and colton time but i can't do that all day everyday. i do try to keep up on chores but that only takes up so much time. my mom always reminds me open up all the blinds or curtains in the house and let the sun in. it will warm your house, you can use more natural light, you feel less trapped in the house and it makes me feel a lot better. anyway, i don't do well during the winter months, it is darker longer, cold and well all that extra yummy food doesn't help. we do little things each day, go to the store when needed, the library, play group, or for a walk. i hope that helps!!!! we all go through this, i truly hope you feel better!
ReplyDeleteI was there too. I think most 'new' moms go through this --actually some of us 'old' moms too. It will get better and I know of nobody else in this world as strong as you. When you determine to do something you accomplish it, so I know you'll be able to pull yourself out of this phase. Letting others in is a great way to start, so thanks for letting us know! You can do it alone, but it's so much easier when others can support and encourage you. I've tried both ways and the latter is the best. :) Call anytime and hang in there!! You're awesome. Let me know how you like the mommy and me swim class. Sounds fun.
ReplyDeleteI think this is something every mother that has left a job to stay at home feels. I now last winter I really struggled. This winter was better, and I think that was because I gave myself a lot of goals and projects to work on. I just finished a quilt for Brett's birthday and I am in the middle of a quiet book for Mark's birthday. I also try to get out of the house and go somewhere at least once a day, it kind of breaks up the monotony.
ReplyDeleteI remember feeling like the days were going so slowly when I had Olivia. I tried to go outside everyday, but what really helped was getting pregnant with Nate...then I loved the naptime schedule! Good luck! I also think a trip to Wyoming would certainly make things better-for both of us.
ReplyDeleteI've not had the experience of being a stay at home mom yet, but I struggle with these things from time to time, as you probably can remember. It's like a vicious cycle. But it definitely sounds like you're on the right track. If anyone can pull out of this, it's you!! Setting small goals is helpful. And sunshine and exercise can make a world of difference, which is probably why people are more prone to depression in the winter when it's harder to get out. You are one of the most disciplined people I know, so I'm sure you are your own worst critic. I still haven't mastered the food issue, so I'm not much help there:) I know it's good to find other habits to turn to when an urge to munch or overeat strikes. I need to work on that habit, too. I hope you get feeling better soon. It was good to hear from so many people how they deal with these issues. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHey I think my post did not post! I wanted to say that YOU are a beautiful, talented, amazingly sweet, dependable, resourceful, thoughtful, and kind woman who I admire!!! Besides that, you are a Great Mommy! I've been where you are and with hindsight know that it gets waaaay busier and easier the older your kids get, I promise. It's also sooooo incredibly worth it. I would not change anything about my time at home with the kiddos (that's why I'm still here!) But that does not mean it's not hard at times. It sounds like you're on the right track, and it's only up from here! Love and HUGS!! Michelle
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